04 June 2020

Missed It By *That* Much


This tweet (full list from this date) turned out to be a lie.

Mind you, it wasn't at the time I posted it. It was the first time I had some exciting news at work in nearly a year. On June 30, 2013, the state legislature forgot to put the line in the budget that funded my job, as they were in too big of a hurry to end the session. The oversight pushed me into another job at the agency that kept a roof over my head (which I was grateful for), but was mostly soul-sucking. I looked for a way out all year.

I was already involved through the previous job with the statewide data coaching initiative and managed to keep a pulse on it through the long 2013 - 2014 school year. There was some funding that was going to be repurposed and it looked like there was a way to use it to build a new role for me. It was super-exciting.

And then...

A man in the agency decided he wanted the money for a personal agenda. And as the leadership was very much a boys club in which he already had entrance, he easily convinced the people who had promised me the work to forget all about it. Poof. It was not the first...or last...time I have been crushed by an entitled white dude.

If I'm being honest, I'm still angry about this particular instance. I still think there is a place for the work.

Both the man and I are gone from the agency. So is most of the old boys club that was there, although the new leadership is worse in many ways from what I see and hear. The biggest outcome for me, however, was that it pushed me into a job search that landed me where I am now. For the most part, that has been a really awesome thing. I don't have any regrets. It was the right move, all things considered. I still have a vision for my next one, just not the opportunity at the moment. I'm hoping that it will be available in another year. But then, I think we all hope many things look far different by this time next year.

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